watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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