I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
