Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
