seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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