i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
