I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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