I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
