drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
