do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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