my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
If I die, sorry about rent.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
