Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
