I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm like, not good at living.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize