They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
