she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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