I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
