Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
