Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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