she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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