I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just found puke in my bra..
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
