Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
