Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
