I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I have fence marks all over my body
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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