There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
