new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize