they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
