he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize