i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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