So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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