So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
