i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize