Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
