Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
