she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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