I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
