So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
