My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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