Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Randomize
