Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
