my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
