He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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