You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
