A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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