I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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