God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize