Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
