dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
