turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
