What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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