great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
