he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
