the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
