i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
