So drunk its hurt
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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