i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
