drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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