I didn't shave. On purpose
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize