The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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