I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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