i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
