my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
