the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
