I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
