Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
