Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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