i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
