Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize