All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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