I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
