the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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