Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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