What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize